Crazy bathroom stories

1. The urinals are directly across the room from the stalls.
2. The stalls have slats in the door, strategically positioned so that you can see the people at the urinals from about from their posterrior down. Which of course offers a great view of spontanious human waterfalls :-0
3. The stalls are usually small with a single toilet (duh)

Now one thing is fairly common with all public bathrooms, there is usually one stall that is the “king” suite stall. You know the one, its everyone’s favorite or choice stall to use. Its the handicapped stall. Do handicapped people ever use the handicapped stall on the 6th floor of a building, nah probably not. But all of us other people do! Come on, its huge, its got its own sink, more legroom, rails to hold on to (God forbid I ever need them when I go in there). Its triple the size of the other stalls and the furthest away from the other toilets in those stalls. (who wants to be sitting six inches away from another guy taking care of business)? Which brings me to the humorous part of this series of stories…

I’m human, I go to the bathroom like anyone else, come on people, we all do it. So one day I get to work and feel the need to head for the restroom. I always dread entering a public restroom because something goofy and most of the time gross ends up happening with me in there. Something you should know about me before I go any further is that I’m a quiet guy, I don’t make a lot of noise with much of anything, I breathe quietly, I move quietly, its jut the way I am. So when I’m in a stall in a public restroom, the other people that come in after me, may not necessarily be aware that I’m in there. 🙂 How fortunate for me. I firmly believe its due to this fact that other Men that enter the restroom after me feel so relaxed. There is nothing I love more than having to be in a public restroom in the first place, but then to have a guy walk in, head for a urinal, which is right in front of my stall, where I have a clear view of the guy from the hips down (hurray). When all of a sudden, it starts. You know what it is, it happens all the time. The guy walks in, starts taking care of business and yup you guessed it, starts to pass gas. Not just a quiet (because he is not trying to be quiet) little one, loud forceful, echoing gas! While this is going on, I’m quietly sitting in my stall making no noise at all. While I have a four part harmony of the alphabet going on right in front of me. I’m holding my breath trying not to break out in laughter. The poor unsuspecting guy has no idea that right behind him is a guy secretly making fun of him, gagging over my own laughter that I’m trying to quietly contain. Finally the circus is over and he leaves. Ahh, now I can laugh, or can I. I think to myself, what if someone walks by the bathroom and hears hearty laughter coming from the men’s room. Hmmm, maybe now isn’t the best time to laugh.

Like I said, everytime I enter a public restroom the comical happens to me. This is just one more many more stories. All of which I can’t put on this blog. So check out my other entries as I will be posting more….



About Joe

I am the author of this blog, IT engineer, husband, father, and somewhat of a nerd.

Posted on December 2, 2005, in Personal and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Comments Off on Crazy bathroom stories.

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